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Post by Mister Ham on Jun 3, 2017 12:36:32 GMT -5
Water puts out the fire, didn't Pink win the 3rd round and Brown should be going home? THIS WAS SO FUNNY THO LMAO Lmao OOPS wow I'm equally as awful as this series
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Post by theacf12 on Jun 3, 2017 14:27:26 GMT -5
Water puts out the fire, didn't Pink win the 3rd round and Brown should be going home? THIS WAS SO FUNNY THO LMAO Lmao OOPS wow I'm equally as awful as this series Make it a plot point, Clarissa sues JD for this
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Post by Mister Ham on Jun 5, 2017 23:16:11 GMT -5
Here is a chart of how the game has gone so far because I'm finally really into this series again and know a lot of us could use a refresher. Also the top 3 on the chart is not a hint for how the game will end, I just arranged them alphabetically. Expect another episode this week, there are only 3 left!! Click on the image to expand it
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Post by Mister Ham on Jun 16, 2017 11:01:09 GMT -5
EPISODE FOURTEEN An Ice Cold Lemonade Debra and Mike: ingenuity, perseverance, discipline Vic and Alice: knowledge, strength, heart, karma Florence and Harold: trust, courage, teamwork, commitment
Pieces left: luck
JD: Hey Everyone: Hey JD: So last night Miss Clarissa left because that plot line was kinda lame anyway Flo: Ok JD: But lets read her letter for old times sake! Alice you were her friend, you should read it! Alice: ... sure (holding back tears) "Dear Imbeciles, Congratulations on making it this far while all maintaining an IQ of less than 30. We all know I was the true QUEEN of this series, and dominated all the missions." Vic: She won one Mike: lol Alice: I'M READING A LETTER FROM MY BEST FRIEND SO CAN IT Mike: Don't raise your voice at me "However, I did make an alliance here or there and I know who I want to win. Alice, you're my homie so you get my leadership piece." Alice: OMG I KNEW SHE STILL LOVED ME JD: this is taking forever plz finish Alice: "Also Orange we had an alliance that stood the test of time." Vic: Again, she was in this game for THREE EPISODES!!! Alice: "So Orange, you get my friendship piece. To Brown, you're a clown! Lol ok bye ♥ Mrs. Clarissa Florence: I thought it was Miss Clarissa Alice: SHE IS GETTING MARRIED?!? JD: this is not turning into a plot point again Alice: :/ JD: Yay Orange and Gray are tied in the lead with five pieces each, Brown you have 3. We still have one piece up for grabs in today's mission Vic: ANOTHER Endurance mission? I wanna go home Jd: ratings are at an all time high!! Vic: two people read this series JD: tru
*everyone magically appears at the mission immediately* Harold: I love that part Florence: I should stop doing drugs JD: OK so in today's Endurance mission you can win the luck piece, or the samadhi... or BOTH Everyone: ooh JD: Your mission today is called "You're in luck" Flo: URINE luck? Ew JD! Harold: ya ur gross *JD's face gets red* Debra: LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE JD: thx Debby. Ok so in today's mission there are 6 seats. One of those seats are the HOT seat. The other is the HOTTEST seat. Harold: Whatever seat Florence is in is the HOTTEST seat Flo: JD: if you are in the HOT seat, you have to answer a question and if you are in the HOTTER seat the chair will get really hot and burn your fanny Florence: I call it my tucus JD: If you are in that chair, you are out of the game Vic: This is such a bizarre challenge Florence: I miss walking through the bizarres through the streets in Italy Mike: You have to make a plug for that every episode JD: Last person standing wins ok everyone get into position
JD: READY? GO! *everyone sits in a chair, and Florence and Harold sit in a chair together* JD: that is a terribly strategy. ok time to turn on the chairs *the chairs turn on* Debra: OUCH!!! *starts crying* WHY AM I ALWAYS FIRST OUT JD: looks like Debra got the hotter seat, sorry Deb! And it looks like MIKE'S seat is red. Mike: what is my question JD: How many states are in the United States Florence: 4 JD: no Mike: 50 JD: Okay Mike you are safe everyone pick a new chair *everyone picks a new chair and VIC'S chair lights up Red* Harold: YEOW!!! JD: Harry got the hotter seat he is out. Vic your question is... Let f(x) = the square root of x squared plus 2 - 7 and let g(x) be an antiderivative of f(x). Then if g(5) = 7 find g(1) Vic: You literally just asked Mike how many states there are in the united states JD: no I didnt Vic: ummm I'll say 5 JD: WRONG *only florence, mike, and alice remain* *no one screams but Florence's chair lights up red* JD: ok Florence give me a word that rhymes with LUCK Florence: big succ JD: correct Vic: WHAT?! JD: okay choose a new seat
*everyone takes a seat* Alice: OUCH! JD: ok alice is out and Mike is in the hot seat. Mike what is the most important meal of the day Mike: Breakfast JD: ok everyone take a seat. there are now two hotter seats and two hot seats *flo and mike sit down, Flo's chair lights up red* JD: Florence name a summer beverage Florence: an ice cold lemonade JD: correct
*everyone takes a seat, Mike and Florence's chair light up red* JD: Mike name a day of the week Mike: Friday JD: WOW you guys are SMART! florence your question is... what type of animal was Mrs. Clarissa? Florence: Can I use a lifeline? Vic: HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW JD: Sure, you can phone a friend Florence: ok i choose Harold *phone rings and Harold picks it up* Florence: hey Harold: hey Florence: how are you? Harold: I'm good Florence: that's good JD: you have 8 seconds left on your call Florence: I'll do the 50/50 JD: no this was your only lifeline Florence: Ok i'll ask the audience JD: no this was your only lifeline *call disconnects* Florence: shoot I had to ask Harold a question too JD: what is your answer Florence: a moose? JD: that is...
and this may shock you...
INCORRECT!!!
Mrs. Clarissa (exit interview): I am actually a rabbit!
JD: no ok mike wins so Brown wins!!! Debra: *crying* IM SO PROUD OF YOU MIKE JD: ya you really needed this win you've gone to temple three times in a row with zero acknowledgement. Mike: lol JD: also you three are the only teams to have ever won at temple. every other team lost on their first try Alice: I love all the facts JD: ok go talk with your friends and let me know what you think
*Debra is talking to gray* Vic: so we are safe, right? debra: we aren't sure Vic: we never hurt you guys!! debra: neither did orange! Vic: they literally sent you to temple debra *crying*: they had no other choice Vic: THERE WERE TWO OTHER TEAMS Alice: Vic don't strain your voice you've been yelling a lot this episode
*Mike is talking to Orange* Mike (confessional): In the end, I think I could beat Orange in the finals, plain and simple Mike: If i gave gray the samadhi, would you throw the mission? Florence: throw it where? Mike: like not try Florence: But what if we want to win Mike: you can't, that's the deal Florence (confessional): Mike is trying to outsmart me, and I can't let that happen Florence: sure Mike... we will definitely... do that........ Mike (confessional):We have orange in the palm of our hand Florence (confessional): the streets of Rome are dirty and I PLAY DIRTY TOO
END OF EPISODE Debra and Mike: ingenuity, perseverance, discipline, luck Vic and Alice: knowledge, strength, heart, karma, leadership Florence and Harold: trust, courage, teamwork, commitment, friendship
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Post by theacf12 on Jun 17, 2017 10:56:05 GMT -5
I LOST IT AT BIG SUCC
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Post by Mister Ham on Jun 21, 2017 11:00:15 GMT -5
EPISODE FIFTEEN AND DO THE HARLEM SHAKE Last time on ENDURANCE
Brown team won the mission, and couldn't make up their mind on who to give it to. But lets be real, they'll probably find themselves up at temple again. Debra: HEY!!! So Brown wants to get rid of Gray because they're a threat even though they're supposed to be best friends. They tried to fool Orange but for once Florence seems to be on to something. Florence: What did we promise Brown again? Yikes. Well lets see who stays and makes the final two today on endurance.
Debra and Mike: ingenuity, perseverance, discipline, luck Vic and Alice: knowledge, strength, heart, karma, leadership Florence and Harold: trust, courage, teamwork, commitment, friendshipBrown is shown talking in their hut Debra: I can't give it to Gray... they're our bffls Mike: no remember we were only friends with them for their pieces but they WON'T LEAVE Debra: WE LITERALLY DON'T EVEN LIKE ORANGE Mike: Florence is my little orange pumpkin Debra: WHY DOES EVERY GUY HAVE A CRUSH ON FLORENCE Mike: crush by david archuletta is an iconic song Debra: so true
JD: hi everyone lets get to it Mike: ok this was a hard choice Vic: It shouldn't be Mike: BUT we're giving it to gray........ Vic: Nice Alice: I'm offended JD: Okay lets open up this bad boy.... *alice and vic smash it on the ground but nothing comes out* Alice: is it invisible? JD: oops i forgot to put it in, i guess there's no samadhi this round lol Mike: WHAT? You made us do that for NOTHING? JD: Mike you never talk in this series and i prefer it that way so shut ya mouth! Mike: Vic (confessional): We got so lucky, I'm ready to conquer this mission! Alice (confessional): I blinked during the samadhi meeting and missed what happened oops
*Jd snaps his fingers and everyone appears on the set of Wheel of fortune* JD: hey everyone: hey Vanna White: hey that other host: hey JD: okay your final three mission is called Wheel of Fortune florence: can i spin the wheel JD: no Florence: ok
JD: in this game I WILL SPIN THE WHEEL BECAUSE I LIKE TO SPIN THINGS. I will spin the wheel and if it lands on your name you get to guess a letter. If you are wrong you lose your turn. If you are right you get one shot to solve the puzzle but if you dont solve it i spin the wheel again. any questions? alice: may we listen to the song 'You Spin me right round' when you spin the wheel? JD: ok alice: thx JD: ok lets start. here is the puzzle
Florence: oh my god JD: what Florence: nothing JD: ok lets give it a spin..................... it lands on Alice! Alice: X! Vic: -.- JD: yeah no
JD: ok here we go again (i kinda wanna be more than friends) ...................... it lands on Mike! Mike: b!!!! JD: no!!!!! Mike: DANG HOMIE
JD: next spin is...... ALICE!!!! Vic: ok alice so this time lets try to... Alice: I'm thinking Q! JD: surprisingly no!!
JD: next up we have...... HAROLD! Harold: H as in the Harlem Shake Debra: ugh harold that is such an outdated trend JD: sadly no H harold
JD: ok lets spin again and have.......... ALICE guess! Mike: how has Alice gone three times already? Alice: i'm lucky, that's why i have the luck piece Mike: wait we won that yesterday Florence: why is alice's name on there 4 times Alice: no its not Florence: yes it is literally look at it
Jd: Well I needed 9 names and alice gave me $5 Alice: I really know how to stretch a dollar Jd: ok what letter Alice: G JD: yeah no. ok still nothing on the board...
Florence: wait i know this answer.... JD: let me give this big old wheel a spin....... Florence: i've been here before......... JD: and it lands on.......... Florence: i AM this place....... JD: FLORENCE! Harold: you ok Florence? you're talking to yourself again Florence: Can I solve the puzzle? JD: there's not even a letter on the board yet Florence: thats ok JD: ok go ahead. Florence: the place is........
FLORENCE ITALY!!!!!!! JD: you are.....
COMPLETELY CORRECT
Vic: how JD: FLORENCE you just punched your ticket to the final 2. congratulations!!! gray and brown, I will see you up at temple tonight where one of you will also go to the finals
Debra is shown crying Mike: its ok Debra: NO ITS NOT.WE CAN'T GO HOME NOW Mike: we're really good at temple tho Debra: ARE WE?? I usually just cry until its over and you pick me up on your way out
Vic: Alice tonight we need to win Alice: As long as we have LUCK on our side, we will be just fine ;-) Vic: FOR THE LAST TIME WE DONT HAVE THE LUCK PIECE
Florence: bye guys Harold: ttyl Debra: I'LL MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH Florence: Bye Beverly! Debra: My name isn't Beverly... Harold: Bye Patricia!!
The two teams walk into the temple of fate JD: welcome to temple u know the drill and the challenge went long so lets get this over with Leslie: wait JD... we want to use the magic box... Vic: wrong season Lauren/Caleb: are you serious? Leslie: so this means we get an automatic first round win at temple JD: Wasn't that scene so messed up? Alice: I never watched Endurance before. I thought it was a baking show Florence: wait we are orange gtfo Caleb and Lauren JD: you can't be at temple!!!!! *JD shoots Florence, Harold, and the cast of E6 out of a cannon down the mountain* JD: lets see those elements
Brown: Water Gray: Fire
JD: Gray water puts out the fire, one more round and you're going home. brown if you win you'll break the 3 temple curse because mitch didn't realize you've literally gone 4 temples in a row Mike: yeah JD: ok pick again
Alice: I was thinking AIR Vic: this isn't avatar the last air-bender Debra: *crying* PLEASE WORK JD: ok for possibly the last time... can i please see the dominant element risee...... NOW
Brown: Fire Gray: Wood
JD: Brown congrats. You two tootsie rolls are in the final two! Gray, I'm sorry but your time is over. Alice, you fought hard and made me $5 richer. I thank you for that. Vic, I know i was hard on you all season, but honestly you had it coming. Vic: can you at least say something nice to me? JD: something nice Vic: k Alice: good luck brown!!! we love you! i hope i make it back in time for Mrs. Clarissa's wedding's open bar! Vic: you're 15 not 21 Alice: not in Guyana ;-) Vic: .... sure. bye guys win it all!!! JD: time to go back to the huts you scamps! see you tomorrow for the pieces mission.
at the huts, orange team is playing leap from Florence: who do you want to come back? Harold: whitney houston Florence: i mean what team Harold: I don't remember who even went to temple Florence: I think it was blue and purple Harold: definitely blue Florence: agreed
Debra: *crying* WE DID IT!! Mike: Four for four!!! Florence: Congrats Beverly!!!
The final two teams hug and all play leap frog in harmony
END OF EPISODE Debra and Mike: ingenuity, perseverance, discipline, luck
Vic and Alice: knowledge, strength, heart, karma, leadership Florence and Harold: trust, courage, teamwork, commitment, friendship
ONE EPISODE REMAINS!!! Thank you to all who have stuck through with this series. Thank you all for your comments - it really encourages me to continue this series. Tune in in the next 2 weeks to see the final episode!!!
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Post by Cruise meerkat Youssy on Jun 21, 2017 22:48:57 GMT -5
WAIT I ACTUALLY CONVULSED WHEN AMBER SHOWED UP
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Post by amplify26 on Jun 22, 2017 1:15:31 GMT -5
Good stuff!
"Brown team won the mission, and couldn't make up their mind on who to give it to. But lets be real, they'll probably find themselves up at temple again." Snarky. AKA Connor and Taylor E5 haha.
"Debra: WHY DOES EVERY GUY HAVE A CRUSH ON FLORENCE Mike: crush by david archuletta is an iconic song"
Well, that was random. But funny! Can't wait to see how it ends!
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Post by Mister Ham on Jun 22, 2017 10:44:15 GMT -5
WAIT I ACTUALLY CONVULSED WHEN AMBER SHOWED UP I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO SEE THIS BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT UNDERSTANDS
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Post by Mister Ham on Jun 25, 2017 22:29:16 GMT -5
Episode 15 is now complete!!!! ONE EPISODE REMAINS!!! Thank you to all who have stuck through with this series. Thank you all for your comments - it really encourages me to continue this story. Tune in in the next 2 weeks to see the final episode!!!
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Post by kwdrewfan on Jul 1, 2017 9:59:50 GMT -5
Okay okay, I just need to say that I laughed out loud so many times omg. I'm going to quote my favorite parts Okay now that I've literally just quoted your post back at you hahaha. Legit though, so funny
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Post by Mister Ham on Jul 3, 2017 9:22:38 GMT -5
Okay now that I've literally just quoted your post back at you hahaha. Legit though, so funny hahaha, I'm glad you like it so much!! I appreciate it a lot and it definitely encourages me to keep writing. I'll be writing the final episode this week!
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Post by Mister Ham on Jan 20, 2019 14:04:22 GMT -5
EPISODE SIXTEEN THE FINAL COUNTDOWN Last time on ENDURANCE
Orange team pulled out a shocking victory at the temple mission Florence: i also pulled out one of my teeth Harold: make sure you put in under ur pillow for the tooth fairy Gray and Brown found themselves at the temple of fate where brown broke the 4 time temple curse Debra: the only curse worse than that is these good looks am i right ladies? EIGHT YEARS AGO (yikes!!) this series began... and now... in 2019... it all comes to a close. who will win it all??? can you spot how different these episodes are structurally from the first one? will i actually finish this without giving up!?!?!? ' find out today on ENDURANCE
*endurance theme starrrts* *endurance theme ends* Debra and Mike: ingenuity, perseverance, discipline, luck Florence and Harold: trust, courage, teamwork, commitment, friendship JD: hi everyone how are you? Mike: I am well Florence takes out her airpods Florence: what did you say?? I can't hear BROKE JD: anyways so as you know gray went home yesterday. they wrote a letter and I want YOU to read it florence Florence: I have a 3rd grade reading level jd: here it is... Florence: "JD i am leaving you. You have been gone for 8 years. Cooper and Duncan have graduated both high school and college and we haven't even got a text or card. We are leaving and taking the dog. if you-" Mike: are you sure that is the letter the gray team left? Jd: omg oopsie. i must've brought the wrong letter. lets go to the challenge
POOF we are at the challenge jd: the gray team left behind five pieces. it is yoour job to collect them at the mission. right now orange leads you by one brown. 5-4 debra (crying): WE WILL NEVER COME BACK JD: i forgot to mention. there is a new pyramid piece this season. it goes to the contestant I think is cutest. florence: omg you should'nt have JD: I choose mike mike (confesional): I'm flattered JD: Brown you get the cutie-pie pyramid piece debby: Can you add it to our pole JD: ya
Debra and Mike: ingenuity, perseverance, discipline, luck, cutie-pie Florence and Harold: trust, courage, teamwork, commitment, friendship
JD: your mission is called 'bird brain.' there are 10 birds in this dome. also we are in a dome right now. *an igloo-shaped dome falls from the sky* jd: there are 10 birds in here with pyramid pieces taped to their backs. you have to lure the bird and trick it into giving you a pyramid piece Mike: wtf Harold: bird is the word JD: now. some birds have DECOY pieces. they may have traps or even GAGS inside. beware! Florence (confessional): The biggest trap in this game was putting me on a team with Harold. I get lost in his eyes and am unable to focus during even the simplest of missions.
JD: ready? GO! *harold is feeding the bird some bird seed and a bird flies over* harold: can i have your piece? bird: what's the magic word? harold: PWEASE? bird: enjoy! JD: harold's polite manners earns him... the knowledge piece! four pieces remain!!!
*debra gets pooped on by a toucan* DEBRA: EW!!!! Mike: omg is that toucan sam from the fruit loops box? toucan sam: Mike: it definitely is. toucan sam: you recognize my talent. here, take this piece. JD: mike opens the box and inside is... Ariana Grande's new hit album Sweetner Mike: I'm not even mad
*Florence begins singing in a high pitched screech and all the birds flock over to her* Bird #2: More talent than Julie DuBella from Tehachapi ever had Bird #3: Leslie Powell is shaking JD: the birds give all of the remaining pieces which means THE MISSION IS OVER! orange goes into the finale ahead of brown 10-5 Harold (confessional): I don't know how she does it. She's an amazing human being and... I think I want to spend the rest of my life with her JD: ok everyone leave go enjoy the last time at your huts
at the huts debra and mike are painting one hut the colors of all the eliminated teams Debra: was there a pink team? Mike: no Debra: I'm going to paint this wall gold to remember the gold team ♥ Mike: there also wasn't a gold team
florence and harold are chatting under a tree florence: are we under a bush right now? harold: no I think that is a tree Harold (confessional): I get so nervous around her. I don't know if she feels the same way. Florence (confessional): I sweat when I get nervous and right now I'm sweating like me trying to read that letter earlier with my third grade reading level Harold: have you ever had a husband? florence: no. harold runs away Harold (confessional): I'm going to the jewlers Florence (confessional): I hope it wasn't my breath from that onion and mayonnaise sandwich i ate earlier
it's time for the final temple of fate JD: hello everyone welcome to the temple. you've all seen the show before so I'm sure you know the rules Florence: i thought endurance was a baking show Debra: yeah I brought my apron and everything JD: you're both CORRECT. the winner will be decided by a great endurance BAKE-OFF! harold: good thing I have my SUGAR with me to help me cook to perfection... *harold grabs Florence's hand...* Florence: Oh Harry... Harold: You are my BUTTER half... JD: awww Harold: DONUT think of leaving me Florence: I'd never Harold: I like the CREPE out of you Debra: are we starting the challenge soon? Harold: I macarONLY have eyes for you Mike: i thought these were only supposed to be baking puns
Harold: And I want this final temple... to be the FINAL time you are not Mrs. Harold Roth JD: Roth??? wait you and I are related Harold: i'm literally your nephew JD: i thought you looked familiar Harold goes down on one knee Harold: Florence... will you marry me? Florence: .......
I...
Thought you'd never ask!!!!
Harold hands out wedding invitations to JD and Debra Harold: sorry mike we only have so much table space Florence: and you weren't all that memorable mike: how did you get wedding invitations made on a remote island? or a ring? Harold: there's a kay's jewler and a walmart photo center about half a mile down the beach. consumerism is quickly taking over the island and it would only be a few days until our camp would be taken over. apparently we never even owned it or had rights to be filiming here. they had missing children posters for all four of us in the stores Debra: lol
Harold: so... sadly... we have to step down from the competition. our impending nuptials can wait no longer! Florence: and you'll never guess where the honeymoon is..................... FLORENCE ITALY!!!!!! JD: well you heard it here first. even when they don't win, they win. Brown is the champion of Endurance Awful and Orange, the champions of each others hearts. Brown for your prize...
You are traveling to...
WYOMING!!!!
Debra: OMG!!! ♥ Mike: uhhh
JD: Congratulations to both teams. I look forward to what lies in store for all of you. And for me? Christine. Please return my calls. I'm begging you. CYA SOON YOU ENDURANCE KOOKS!
END OF SERIES Thank you to all who have stuck through with this series for literally EIGHT YEARS LMAO. I hope the 2 year hiatus for the finale was worth it!!!! I was in a rough spot this past year but now that I'm past it i really felt the need to finish things i never finished. i'm really bad when it comes to finishing fanfic / stories i've started and even though this series lived up to its *awful* title, I always had a lot of fun writing it and appreciated how you all responded to it. if this ends up being the last fan fic i ever write i'm happy to say I at least finished it and I look forward to reading more of what you all are writing too!!!
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Post by theacf12 on Jan 20, 2019 19:29:00 GMT -5
THIS WAS SUCH AN ICONIC FANFIC!
I re-read it all and it is so hilarious and the longevity of it just makes it all the more fantastic!
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Post by amplify26 on Jan 20, 2019 21:08:09 GMT -5
Thank you Mitch for persevering through finishing this! This was so abnormally awful it had its own charm to it.
"Florence: "JD i am leaving you. You have been gone for 8 years. Cooper and Duncan have graduated both high school and college and we haven't even got a text or card. We are leaving and taking the dog. if you-"
Ouch. Clearly J.D. has had some problems since the beginning of the series. Hope he gets some of it patched up...
"*Florence begins singing in a high pitched screech and all the birds flock over to her* Bird #2: More talent than Julie DuBella from Tehachapi ever had"
SHAAAAADEEE...
And that ending, though--very much encapsulates the "awfulness" of this particular series. That said, well written and very nice references from across pop culture!
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Post by theacf12 on Jan 20, 2019 22:19:26 GMT -5
I'm just thinking about if the grand prize was to Bozeman, Montana instead with JD's strange casting obsession.
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